


Lightbearer

by kasiapeia



Series: Neither Time Nor Space Could Keep Us Apart [3]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Original Guardian Character, Other guardian OCs mentioned are part of this same series, Rogue Lightbearer, but you know what? I want to write about someone who wasn't involved in the game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 04:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17359211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kasiapeia/pseuds/kasiapeia
Summary: After Cayde-6's passing, Aeryn-4 struggles to connect with the other Guardians and their cause. She's always done her own thing, backed only by the Hunter Vanguard's support for his friend, but now that's gone, she doesn't know where she fits into all of this.Light, Dark, something somewhere in between--it's all the same in the end.





	Lightbearer

Aeryn-4 still remembers her old life, even if the visions that flit through her mechanical mind are fragmented and corrupted. Four resets, and she’s somehow been able to cling onto her past in a way that used to make the Speaker furious. Her past doesn’t matter to her—not like Iriah’s past does to her, even when it has brought her nothing but trouble—she has moved on, tried to be content in her current life, even if she still remembers what it was like to be flesh and bone.

“Guardian.”

Zavala has an unnerving ability to make her grimace every time she hears him speak. It isn’t as though he means any harm, but there’s an aura about him that makes her… uneasy. He has spent his entire life protecting the City, creating the rules that now govern these grounds.

She’s spent her entire life breaking rules.

It’s a bad combination.

The Exo hunter places a hand on her hip, her head held high as she looks the Titan Vanguard in the eyes. “Commander.”

“Are you going somewhere?” He isn’t one to beat around the bush, never has been. She’d only been reporting to him for a short while, but that much she has figured out already. It’s painful, giving her scouting reports to him, when for years she’d been giving them to…

To…

Blunt, metal fingers dig into her side as she tries to push the memory of her mentor out of her mind. It doesn’t matter that he’d saved her when she’d lost herself. It doesn’t matter that he’d taught her everything she knows know. It doesn’t matter—

It doesn’t matter because Cayde is gone, and he’s not coming back. There’s a golden plaque embedded in floor of the overlook commemorating his final stand. She’d not had the heart to attend his funeral, and she doubts she’ll ever be able to summon up the strength to visit the grave they’d buried him, just outside of the City’s walls so he could rest forever beneath the stars.

“I’m leaving the City,” she says. It isn’t up for debate. She’d made her mind up long ago; she’d made up her mind the day she’d been told that Cayde was gone. How long ago was that? Time doesn’t matter to Guardians, and she’s had a poor grasp on reality ever since the world had started falling apart around her. She could join the Guardians fighting to save the Dreaming City, could join Iriah and her siblings, but for what purpose? Saving the Dreaming City is a fruitless endeavour, and she owes nothing to the Awoken.

And now she owes nothing to the Guardians either.

Iriah could have talked her into staying, but Aeryn had gone out of her way to ensure that the Awoken Warlock didn’t discover her plans. It hadn’t been hard. If she’s not battling Riven’s curse, then she’s fighting with Mara Sov in the Queen’s throneworld, wherever that may be. She has her hands full, and this…

This Aeryn has to do alone.

She’d felt it creeping in slowly; the Void snuck into her heart, poisoned tendrils wrapping around the beating clockwork that keeps her running long after she ought to have died. The empty space between the stars fills her soul now, rather than the raging fire that had burned hotter than the very sun. The flames had been quenched, doused by the nothingness that wasn’t quite light and wasn’t quite dark.

“Are you certain you are making the right choice?” Zavala’s tone is neutral, giving nothing away of his personal feelings, but still she gets the impression that he doesn’t wholly disapprove.

“It’s the only choice,” says Aeryn, and it’s not quite true, but they both know that it’s the only choice she’ll consider. She’s been doing this for years now, and she’s tired. Back when Cayde was still here… was still alive, it had been easier. He’d kept her going.

_“Listen, kid, if there’s one thing they don’t tell you about being a Guardian, it’s that all this nonsense? It ain’t easy, but it’s not just you who’s struggling to get through the day. Everyone around you? Yeah, we’re struggling too. You’re not alone, kid. Never will be so long as I’m around to give you another job or two, you got it?”_

“If you leave, Guardian,” Zavala says, slowly, carefully, “I can’t promise you that you’ll be allowed back.”

“I know.” She does. She really does. She can’t remember the last time she’d gone outside of the City walls, but she knows that she’d rather risk it out there, on her own, than be trapped in here, slowly withering away as her home became a prison. She’d seen it happen to Guardians before; they’d simply faded away, their Light still as bright as ever, but their will to go on just… gone.

Anything would be better than that, even if it meant having to brave the wilds without the support of the Vanguard behind her. They take care of their own, but if she leaves, she won’t be a Guardian. The instant she steps outside of those walls, she will be alone.

She’s used to being alone.

It’s a Hunter’s job to watch everyone’s back. To hide, and to watch, and to protect. But no one’s watching her back, and that was a lesson Cayde had instilled in her from the very start. Hunters aren’t like Titans, or Warlocks. They can’t brute force their way through a problem, nor can they study it and find the optimal solution. They’re a knife balancing on its tip, trying its best not to topple over.

Aeryn pauses, reaching for her holster, and then—

“I suppose I should give this back,” she says, hand wrapped around the grip of the Crimson as she pulls it out. She turns it towards him. “I stole this from your vault ages ago.”

Zavala simply pushes it back towards her. “According to official Vanguard policy,” he says, a small smile twitching at his lips, “this weapon doesn’t exist. Its absence won’t show up in any records if it wasn’t in any records to begin with.”

She almost returns his smile. Almost. “You know, Zavala… You’re all right. I would stay if I could but…”

“But you are better out there, where you belong,” he finishes, understanding the words she cannot bring herself to say. “At your heart, you will always be a Guardian. Good luck, Lightbearer.”

She does not say thank you. She knows he doesn’t want her to do this, but she’s always done her own thing, even when she was under Cayde’s command. Her unorthodox methods get results and gets _good_ results too. She isn’t like Iriah, who would be the ideal Warlock if not for her bitterness towards the Guardians’ refusal to change or adapt to the new world they’ve found themselves in. She isn’t like Jaarhan, who is so much of a better Hunter than she is that it almost hurts. She isn’t like Imen, whose chaotic ways make her unpredictable, and unstoppable against even the most dangerous of foes.

She’s just… Aeryn.

Tired, exhausted, old Aeryn who dances on the edge between Light and Dark, and whose soul had once burned with Sol and has now been touched by the Void.

Aeryn faces no trouble getting outside of City walls, the guards at the gate giving her an odd look when she approaches on foot, but even they do not question her when she slips out, shotgun slung over her back, Crimson holstered on her thigh. The Exo’s black metal skin glitters in the light of the afternoon sun as she steps out into the wilds, her Ghost transmatting her sparrow right before her eyes.

“Well that went better than expected,” chirps Aileen, her Ghost doing a few circles in the air before her eyes. She lets out a content sigh. “I thought we’d be trapped in there forever.”

Aeryn snorts with amusement, slinging her leg over her sparrow and settling into the seat. She tests the engines, once, twice, before rolling her shoulders back, stretching her mechanical muscles. “I’m surprised you didn’t object to this plan,” she says. “Rogue Lightbearer. Thought a Ghost would want all Lightbearers to be Guardians.”

If Aileen could roll her eyes, Aeryn’s certain she’d be doing so right now. “Please,” she says. “We’ve known each other a long time, Aeryn. You should know me better than that by now. And besides! We’ve got each other, and we’re are still protecting the Light. We’re just doing it our own way, that’s all.” Aeryn smiles, then. When was the last time she’d done that? Before Cayde, in all likelihood. Aileen disappears back into her own little pocket dimension, though her voice still chirps in Aeryn’s ear. “So, _Lightbearer_ , where are we going?”

Aeryn kickstarts the engine, motors roaring as they finally begin to warm up. Her smile grows larger, pointed metal teeth glinting in the light. “To find trouble.”

**Author's Note:**

> Aeryn-4 was previously featured in _Between the Calm and the Storm_ , and I've been wanting to write about a Guardian who still believes in the Guardians' cause but chooses to break away anyway. Iriah is... fun, I won't lie, but as much as she disagrees with how the Guardians are run, she still considers herself a Guardian. I'll probably end up writing more about Aeryn in the future--she's a lot of fun to write, and she seems to always find herself in trouble even when she's not looking for it.


End file.
